In psychological circles, would this be called denial?

Governor's camp says his ideas didn't lose
Special election blamed -- opponents demand apology

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger's aides argued Wednesday that the crushing defeat of the governor's measures at the polls meant California voters had rejected the need for the special election -- not his calls for reform.

Oh, you know, what can I say? Tim and I covered the recall campaign, dealt with his people and the whole Arnie as Politician parade. The stage-managed events full of hand-selected True Believers were reminiscent of the Bush 2000 campaign; clearly his people had taken a page or two out of Karl Rove' s playbook. We cringed the night of the debate in Sacramento, at Arnold's after-debate event, as we listened to the racist hate speech of Dennis Miller - I don't think he actually used the term "wetback", but the fact that I'm not sure is telling.

I felt then that there was no substance, no solidity, to either Schwarzenegger or his campaign. Even adjusting for my very liberal bias, I could find no finger hold, nothing to touch and say, "This is what he stands for." He didn't stand for anything, he simply campaigned on what he was not - a politician.

You know, there really is a place in this world for politicians. "Politician" need not be a dirty word, and the skills of a politician can make for good governance. Arnold Schwarzenegger is no politician. Nor is he a diplomat. He is a not-great actor who thought his popularity would give him a breezy ride through Sacramento, and when he found that wasn't the case - when he found that he didn't get to write the script or direct the show and that folks in the marble hallways of the Capitol play hardball - he called people names and went after nurses and firefighters and schoolteachers, for god's sake. Any hope for political dialog on any of the issues brought up in this special election died in a shitstorm of hype and hullabaloo. Talk about pissing away your political capital.

Now he wants us to think his ideas didn't lose?

From Spiegel Online:

THE TERMINATOR'S FALL FROM GRACE
Schwarzenegger Goes Down in California

A year ago, he was the state's wunderkind. Now, though, Californians are tired of their action-film-actor-turned-governor. He failed miserably in Tuesday's referendum and seems to have lost his touch. His approval ratings are even lower than Bush's.

So, your ideas didn't lose, Arnold? Okay. I'll try to take comfort from the fact that your utter cluelessness will render you ineffective. Ineffective people do less damage. And I'll hope that come next November there are some real candidates on the ballot. Then we can get rid of the velvet rope now strung across the doorway to the Governor's office, and lose the "Arnold Schwarzenegger" in gold leaf stick-on letters above that doorway, where never before was there someone's name; just the word, "Governor".

That wacky holiday season is upon us

While ambling around my local Safeway yesterday afternoon, I noticed a new product in the poultry case; Jennie-O Oven Ready Turkey. The gist of it is that it's super-convenient. I just ran across a print ad for it in, ironically, a pamphlet with Sunset magazine's 2005 Recipe Contest winners.

The ad copy reads thus:

Thawing and cleaning a turkey sounds ridiculous to us, too.

Why would you go to the trouble of thawing and cleaning a turkey if you didn't have to? JENNIE-O TURKEY STORE® Oven Ready is the frozen turkey that comes already cleaned, seasoned and sealed in our FOOL-PROOF™ cooking bag. Just take it from the freezer and put it in the oven -- no thawing, no cleaning, no hassles. It's yet another way we're making it easier than ever to enjoy the great taste of turkey.

As you can imagine, it was freaking expensive (I don't remember the exact figure, but looking at it made my eyebrows meet my hairline). And I found myself shaking my head.

You know, roasting a turkey is just not that complicated. In fact, it's pretty darn easy. All you really need is a turkey, some salt, pepper, a roasting pan, a big spoon, a working oven and a meat thermometer (and the meat thermometer is arguable). You can get fancy with brining and basting substances and stuffing and seasoning and all that, and that makes the procedure slightly more complicated. But, really, a basic roasted turkey, like a basic roasted chicken, is a lesson in simplicity. The only thing you don't do with the turkey-in-a-bag that you have to do with a good old Butterball (or a seasonally cheap store-brand turkey) is wash it (this is complicated?), season it (salt and pepper really will do) and baste it (which you can do with butter or with the turkey's own rendered fat). Am I missing something here?

I don't know when the idea of roasting a turkey became so scary and complicated. But it has. Every year when Thanksgiving rolls around the nervous inundate the Butterball Turkey Talk-Line and on-line cooking communities and their mothers and grandmothers, looking for the best advice on buying, thawing, preparing and roasting the bulbous-breasted beasties.

I won't speak for anyone but myself, and I understand that some people really don't like to cook, don't find a sense of satisfaction in taking raw ingredients and making something splendid with which to feed their favorite people. I suppose a turkey-in-a-bag, a turkey you don't handle in any way except to haul it from the freezer and toss it in the oven, a turkey you don't even peek at until it's done cooking, is an awfully great idea for folks who really don't like to cook. But I just can't wrap my head around it. It's beyond my understanding.

Is it just me, or is there a sort of strange, parallel evolution going on?

On the one hand, people are demanding better, fresher ingredients from their grocery stores, and farmer's markets are springing up everywhere, offering the best and the freshest of everything under the sun; fruits, vegetables, meats, cheeses, breads, seafood. Heirloom produce is enjoying a renaissance, from apples to tomatoes to potatoes. Ingredients that 20 years ago were exotic and hard to find are now as commonplace as Campbell's soup. Food TV is making money hand-over-fist, and cooking shows are proliferating like rodents on an already cooking-show-heavy PBS.

On the other hand, my Safeway's poultry department is selling turkey-in-a-bag.

I guess it's not all that different from the already seasoned and cooked, heat-and-eat pot roasts and tri-tip and stews and such which have invaded the meat department's shelves. And I freely admit that I buy chopped up lettuce in a bag for five or six times the amount of money an intact head of lettuce would cost. I have even been known to make chicken gravy with a packet of Knorr Swiss instead of the chicken drippings.

But for some reason, I am totally bemused by turkey-in-a-bag.